


Voices in the Dark

by Hobbit_Riddlebird



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, Gen, Implied Kylo Ren/Rey, Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, POV Finn (Star Wars), Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:47:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22022800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbit_Riddlebird/pseuds/Hobbit_Riddlebird
Summary: Finn cannot sleep because he has started to hear the voices of his training, he takes a walk to clear his head and runs into Kylo Ren, now Ben Solo, who also cannot sleep.(Note on tags: tagged ships but only Finn and Kylo/Ben are in the fic, the ships are background/implied)
Relationships: Finn & Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	Voices in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Author Note:
> 
> This fic is not meant to be Anti-Finn or Anti-Kylo Ren.  
> These are two characters with completely different viewpoints and imo that would not easily change after Ben Solo's redemption and return.  
> And I thought it would make for an interesting idea to explore this in some way.

The night cycle was too quiet on the space station and Finn could not sleep for the silence. The air filter had broken down again but the station was naturally cool. Beside him Poe's breathing was the only sound and some nights that would be enough to lure him to sleep, but tonight the voices had returned.

_Kill the enemy. Protect your unit. Shoot first. Do not question orders. To go against orders is death. Desertion is death. Failure is death._

Poe's breathing shifted. Finn knew it would be easy enough to wake him and the pilot would fill the silence without even being asked, as though he understood well enough. But Poe would be leaving on an important, and dangerous, mission next day cycle, and would need the rest. Finn could not be selfish when it meant endangering the life of someone he loved. It wouldn't be fair to Poe.

And there was a small part of Finn, a part that he hated above all else, that in moments like this considered Poe the enemy of his training... his conditioning. He was quite literally laying with the enemy... an offense that should call for his eradication from the unit. 

Poe was never in any danger from him, Finn would sooner harm himself before it came to that, but he needed to get away to clear his head. He quickly dressed in the clothes that had been discarded before getting into bed and left the room he shared with Poe. 

He passed the corridors with no destination in mind but it did not come to any surprise to find _him_ lurking around in the middle of the night. 

"Kylo Ren," he reached for the blaster that was not at his hip. 

"FN-2187," Kylo turned away from the viewing portal. "Your pilot stealing all the blankets, keeping you awake?" 

Finn hated that Kylo Ren could speak of what he had with Poe with such contempt. As though he were still his commanding officer. 

"What about you?" He kept his distance. "Planning to murder us all in our sleep and run off, seems you're good at that." 

Kylo's flinch did not go unnoticed by Finn. No, not Kylo, he reminded himself. Ben Organa Solo. As though the man formerly known as Kylo Ren had any right to the names of heroes such as Han Solo and Leia Organa. It wasn't right that Han's murderer should stand in his place. 

The "official" story was Ben Solo, the son of heroes Han Solo and Leia Organa who had gone missing after the attack on Luke Skywalker's school, had been held captive by the First Order and freed upon the death of both Kylo Ren and Emperor Palpatine. 

Finn understood the reason for the deception but it didn't mean he had to like it. Or trust Kylo Ren. And he did neither.

"I'm surprised you're still with the Resistance," Kylo turned back to the viewing port. "I would have thought you would've turned tail and abandoned post before now." 

Finn hated himself how close those words came. 

"You might have them all fooled, you might have her fooled," he pointed at him. "But you don't have me fooled. I know you, whatever you're calling yourself," he lowered his voice. "You're a killer." 

"As I know you, Finn," Kylo's lip quirked. "You are a coward. A deserter. And a traitor. I wonder how long it will take before your new friends discover who you really are, the handsome pilot that you share a bed with." 

And that was where Kylo Ren was wrong. 

_'You are the bravest man I know,' he remembered Poe's words to him the first time he had kissed him before the battle on Exogall._

"Better to be a coward than a killer." 

"Is that what you tell yourself?" Kylo laughed. "Or is that what your pilot tells you? Let me ask you, what are you doing out here with me instead of cozy in bed with him?" 

"Could ask you the same question," Finn did not back down. "Couldn't I?" The thought of Rey with this... killer... made him sick but Rey had made no secret of their relationship since Ben's "return". 

"I asked first," he left the viewport and circled behind Finn. "Let me guess, the station is too quiet and your mind is full of voices that are not there, whispering to you in the darkest corners of your mind."

_Listen to your commanding officer above all else._

"What would you know about it?" Finn tried to calculate which room would be closer, Poe or Rey, if Kylo decided to attack. 

"You might be surprised to know what I know about voices in the shadows," Kylo's shoulders relaxed. "You are not the only one here that knows something about voices in the silence of your mind." Kylo looked out the viewport. "It would seem we are not too different, you and I." 

"We are nothing alike," Finn's migraine was growing behind his eyes. 

"No, the only difference between us, I had the courage to do what had to be done," he looked down at his naked fist. "I killed my first at my fourteenth birth cycle. There was a boy at the school, he was older and bigger, a bully. He accused me of being Master Skywalker's favorite," he continued. "It was a training exercise, he planned to cheat but I cheated first. It was deemed an unfortunate accident, he was the son of an important senator, a rival of my mother's, a scandal," he looked up at Finn. "But I killed him. My first of many. It gets easier though, doesn't it, FN-2187?"

"I'm not a murderer like you," the migraine had moved to the back of his head. 

"Aren't you though, how many stormtroopers have you killed in the name of the Resistance?" Kylo turned his head to the side. "How many of your brothers and sisters have you taken down in the name of justice?" 

Finn tried not to think of it in that way. In their First Order helmets it was all too easy to think of the enemy as other, to not see their faces looking back at him when he looked in the mirror. 

"I will never be anything like you-," Finn was interrupted by the sound of the morning shift cycling over across the space station and the sound brought him back to the present. "I should head back before Poe wonders I've gone." He turned around to go back the way he had came. 

"Wait, Finn," Kylo called out softly. "What do you do when it is too quiet, when you miss the voices in your head?" 

Finn turned around and looked back. This Kylo looked different than the Supreme Commander that had lead the First Order, smaller without the black armor, this was the lost son of Han Solo and Leia Organa. Ben Organa Solo. 

"I don't know," Finn conceded. "I don't know." He left Ben alone to his own voices. 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is obviously from the pov of Finn alone (and so also heavily one-sided ) but this is something I would also like to explore in Kylo Ren/Ben Solo as well. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
